


Wedding Daze (which is a pune, or play on words)

by kathkin



Category: Merlin (TV)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-07-06
Updated: 2013-07-06
Packaged: 2017-12-17 22:23:38
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,923
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/872619
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kathkin/pseuds/kathkin
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>In Which Morgana is annoying, Sophia is a back-stabbing gold-digger, Arthur is confused, and Merlin is madly in love with him (no accounting for taste).</p>
            </blockquote>





	Wedding Daze (which is a pune, or play on words)

**Author's Note:**

> For [this prompt](http://community.livejournal.com/kinkme_merlin/6345.html?thread=2700489#t2700489) at the kinkmeme. Major thanks to the anon who wrote the first response to the same prompt for the awesome inspiration.

Morgana was very annoying at times. Arthur already had butterflies fluttering in his stomach. He didn’t need yet another annoyance darting around the dressing room, adjusting his clothes.  
 

“I can dress myself, you know,” he said, batting her hands away from his tie.  
 

“Well, yes,” she said. “But today you have to look your very best, and I don’t trust you to do that, I’m afraid.” She started tugging on the bottom of his shirt.  
 

“Morgana!” he said, batting her away _yet again_. “I can manage! Trust me! Now pass me my waistcoat.”  
 

She passed him his waistcoat. “The ceremony is in half an hour,” she said. “And you haven’t even got your waistcoat on yet.”  
 

“I bet Sophia’s not ready yet,” said Arthur. “Is she?”  
 

“She’s a woman,” said Morgana. “We always take longer. We have more to do. It’s just a fact of life. You, however, are just dawdling.”  
 

Arthur opened his mouth to retort that _he’d take as long as he liked to dress for his wedding, thank you very much_ , but then there came a soft knock at the door. He smiled. It was a welcome interruption.  
 

“Come in,” he said.  
 

“Unless you’re Sophia,” said Morgana. “Are you?”  
 

There was a long pause. Then, “No?” said Merlin’s voice from the other side of the door.  
 

“You don’t sound very sure,” said Arthur. “Look, just come in, alright?”  
 

The door opened. Merlin peered around it. “I was just coming to check how you were getting on,” he said. He looked tired. But they’d been out late the night before, Arthur supposed. Stag party and all.  
 

“Slow,” said Morgana before he could answer. She turned back to Arthur. “See, _Merlin’s_ all ready.”  
 

“Oh, shut up,” said Arthur. He grinned at Merlin and rolled his eyes. Merlin smiled back, but it looked a little weak. “You okay?” he said, frowning.  
 

“Fine,” said Merlin. “Just… nervous.” He gestured off down the corridor. “I was just going to go practice my speech. In the bathroom.”  
 

“Good luck with that,” said Arthur, shrugging on his waistcoat.  
 

“You too,” said Merlin quietly. “I’m really happy for you, alright?”  
 

He didn’t sound terribly happy, though. But Arthur smiled and thanked him anyway. “Now go practice!” he said. Merlin nodded and slipped away.  
 

The moment he was gone, Morgana started briskly doing up his buttons. “Morgana!” he said. “I can button up a waistcoat without help, you know!”  
 

“I’m just feeling helpful,” she said.  
 

Arthur rolled his eyes and changed the subject. “He didn’t seem very cheerful,” he said, nodding at the door.  
 

“Who?” said Morgana. “Merlin?” Arthur nodded. Her hands stilled on the buttons. “Arthur,” she said slowly. “You do… you do know, don’t you? About Merlin?”  
 

“Know what about him?” said Arthur, doing up the last two buttons himself.  
 

“So you don’t know?” said Morgana.  
 

“Guess not,” said Arthur, lifting his dinner jacket. Morgana stared at him in disbelief. “What?” he said. “What don’t I know?”  
 

“You don’t… Merlin’s in love with you.”  
 

Arthur froze with one arm hanging out of his jacket. “…What?”  
 

“Merlin is in love with you,” said Morgana. “He’s been in love with you for ages.”  
 

“ _What?_ ” said Arthur. The butterflies had stopped now. He felt strangely numb all of a sudden.  
 

“He loves you,” said Morgana. “He’s completely, madly, head-over-heels in love with you. So no, I don’t think he’s terribly cheerful about you marrying Sophia.”  
 

Arthur stared at her. “Are you sure?” he said.  
 

“Arthur, haven’t you seen the way he looks at you?” she said. “Of course I’m sure. Everyone’s sure. He’s in love. With you. No accounting for taste, of course, but –”  
 

“Whoa, whoa,” said Arthur, holding up a hand to silence her. “Why are you telling me this now?”  
 

“I just thought you should know,” said Morgana.  
 

“Is this about you not liking Sophia?” said Arthur. He realised that he still had one arm hanging out of his jacket and shrugged it on quickly.  
 

“Arthur,” said Morgana. “No-one likes Sophia. Not even Sophia’s _parents_ like Sophia.”  
 

“What’s wrong with Sophia?” said Arthur.  
 

“She’s a back-stabbing bitch who’s only marrying you for your money,” said Morgana, as if it were the most obvious thing in the world. “That’s what.” She marched across the room and opened the door. “Now go talk to Merlin.”  
 

“About what?” said Arthur.  
 

“Have you been listening to a word I’ve said?” said Morgana. “You owe him an apology, at least.”  
 

“For what?” said Arthur.  
 

“For being so utterly oblivious,” said Morgana. Arthur didn’t move. “Go on! You’ve got –” she checked her watch. “Twenty-three minutes before the ceremony. Go!” When he still didn’t move, she darted forward, grabbed him by the arm, and pulled him towards the door. “Arthur, go. Just talk to him, alright? He needs comforting.”  
 

“From me?” said Arthur. “Are you sure that’s a good idea?”  
 

“Yes,” she said firmly.  
 

And with that he was outside in the corridor, the door closed behind him, and Merlin in the bathroom ahead.  
 

*  
 

He wandered down the corridor in a daze, wondering what an earth he was going to say to Merlin. He could hear his voice muttering through the wall – he really was practicing his speech, then – as he came to a halt outside the bathroom door.  
 

He just stood there for a few minutes. He couldn’t quite bring himself to go in. But then it occurred to him that maybe, just maybe, Morgana was wrong, or making it up, or just barmy, and maybe everything would be alright.  
 

He opened the door. Merlin had been standing by a basin, talking to his own reflection, but he jerked away as Arthur stepped into the room.  
 

“Arthur!” he said. “How’s it going? You all dressed now?”  
 

“Hmm? Oh,” said Arthur. “Yes. And… we need to talk, Merlin.” He shut the door behind him.  
 

Merlin gulped. “We do?” he said.  
 

“Yes,” said Arthur, walking towards him slowly. “See, I just had a very interesting conversation with Morgana.”  
 

“Oh,” said Merlin. “Really? What about?”  
 

“You,” said Arthur. “Actually. See, she has this absolutely crazy idea,” he said, smothering a hysterical laugh. “She has this crazy idea that you might be. Well. Sort of… in love with me?”  
 

Panic flashed across Merlin’s face. “Oh,” he breathed. “Right.”  
 

Arthur stepped closer, till he was only inches away, and Merlin was backed up against a basin. “It’s not… well, it’s crazy, right? It’s not true? I’d know if it were true, and I had no idea, so it can’t be – right?”  
 

Merlin blinked at him. It seemed to take him a moment to realise that Arthur was expecting him to answer. “Oh!” he said. “Right. Yeah. Crazy.” But it was written all over his face. Arthur groaned.  
 

“Merlin, you’re a terrible liar,” he said, running his hands through his hair (and probably throwing it into a terrible disarray, but he couldn’t find it in himself to care right now.  
 

“I’m sorry,” said Merlin. “Look, it doesn’t matter, not now, so I’ll just –” He tried to slip away, but Arthur caught his arm.  
 

“How long?” he said. Merlin stared at him blankly. “How long, Merlin? How long have you felt this way?” Merlin still didn’t answer. “How long?”  
 

“I… don’t know?” said Merlin. “It’s… not like it happened suddenly or anything, it just sort of…” He saw the look on Arthur’s face and broke off. “Definitely… definitely since, well… well, you remember when we went on that holiday to Spain? Me and you and Morgana and Gwen?”  
 

Arthur nodded slowly, memories seeping back. “Merlin,” he said slowly. “Merlin, that was – that was _four years ago!_ ” He grabbed him by the shoulders and gave him a good shake. “You’ve been in love with me for _four years_ and you didn’t do anything about it?” Merlindid his best to shrug. Arthur shook him again. “Well why the hell not?”  
 

“I don’t know!” wailed Merlin. “You were straight – are straight, I mean – and then I thought _I_ was straight, and then you had a girlfriend, and – and – you _kept_ having girlfriends, and they were all so _gorgeous_ , and I thought, well, I thought if you only went out with girls who looked like that, you’d never want anyone who – well, you’d never want me, would you? And then there was Sophia, and you were engaged, and now you’re going to be married in, what, twenty minutes? So yeah. I didn’t do anything.” He took a deep breath. “Sorry?”  
 

Arthur released him and stepped back, head reeling. “Oh, you idiot,” he said. “Oh, you absolutely _idiot_.”  
 

“I’m sorry,” said Merlin again. “Can we just try and forget about this? Please? I was sort of hoping you’d never find out.” He managed to muster a weak grin.  
 

“Why?” said Arthur. “Because of Sophia?” Merlin nodded. “Look… be honest with me. Do you think Sophia’s only marrying me for my money?”  
 

“Um,” said Merlin, eyes flicking towards the door. “Well. Yes?”  
 

“And apparently everyone is in agreement on this… issue?”  
 

“What, on her being a back-stabbing gold-digger?” said Merlin. Arthur nodded slowly. “Yeah,” said Merlin. “Yeah, pretty much everyone except Gwen, but we think that’s just because she’s too nice to say so out loud.”  
 

“And no-one thought that it might be a good idea to tell me this?” said Arthur.  
 

“Well,” said Merlin. “I was hoping you’d figure it out for yourself before it was too late. Morgana’s told you, though, hasn’t she? Not her fault you didn’t listen.”  
 

“Well, maybe if someone else had –” Arthur sighed. “Look. Forget it. It doesn’t matter any more.”  
 

“I’m sure you’ll be very happy together,” said Merlin, sounding surprisingly sincere. He turned to leave, but Arthur caught him by the arm.  
 

“Wait,” he said, pulling him back towards the basin. “Wait.” Merlin opened his mouth to speak, but before he could, Arthur grabbed him by the collar of his dinner jacket and kissed him hard.  
 

Merlin fell back against the basin behind with a surprised, muffled sound, but then his arms were looped around Arthur’s waist and he just _melted_ into it, giving it everything he had as if he thought it was all he’d ever get.  
 

Arthur pulled back slowly. Reluctantly. “Oh,” he said.  
 

Merlin swallowed. “Don’t,” he said. “Don’t say anything. This is a terrible idea.”  
 

“Really?” said Arthur. “Why?”  
 

“You’re getting married,” said Merlin. “Remember? This is a really, really terrible idea.”  
 

“Oh,” said Arthur. “Right. Yeah. _That_.” His thoughts raced off down new, exciting paths. “Well,” he said slowly. “What if – what if I wasn’t getting married?”  
 

“That would be… nice,” said Merlin. He smiled. “That would be… wonderful.”  
 

“If I wasn’t getting married, then you’d give this a shot?” said Arthur.  
 

“Yeah,” said Merlin. “Yeah, of course I would.”  
 

“Right, then,” said Arthur. His hands were in Merlin’s hair. When had that happened, he wondered? “Let’s go.”  
 

“Go where?” said Merlin.  
 

“The honeymoon’s in Paris,” said Arthur. “I have the tickets in my glove box. Car’s just outside.” Merlin gaped. “You up for it?”  
 

“What?” he gasped out. “But – Sophia –”  
 

“…Is a back-stabbing gold-digger,” said Arthur calmly. “You were right. All of you. Sophia’s a bitch and you’re in love with me and I’ve changed my mind.”  
 

“Are you sure this isn’t just cold feet?” said Merlin.  
 

“Yes,” said Arthur, a smile spreading across his face. “Yeah. I’m sure.” He unwound his hands from Merlin’s hair and stepped back. “C’mon. We can stop off at your place so you can pack.”  
 

“Sophia will gut me like a fish,” said Merlin.  
 

“Don’t worry,” said Arthur. “I’ll protect you. Now come on,” he took Merlin’s hand. “You and me. Paris. Alright?”  
 

Merlin beamed. “Alright.”  
 

*  
 

Twenty minutes later, the hall was in chaos.  
 

“I’ve looked everywhere I can think of,” said Gwen, rushing back in, her dress held up around her knees. “He’s not here. And his car’s gone too.”  
 

“It’s probably just cold feet,” said Hunith. “He’ll come back when he’s ready.”  
 

“But we only have the hall till six!” said Maureen, the wedding planner. “We can’t wait!”  
 

“Well,” said Uther, looming over her. “Maybe you should have booked it for longer. Aren’t you supposed to _plan_ for things like this?”  
 

“Well,” said Maureen. “He didn’t seem like the type to – I mean, he – I don’t have to plan for _everything!_ ” she gasped out, eyes brimming with tears.  
 

“Oh, leave her alone!” said Hunith, putting an arm round her. “He’ll come back. Don’t worry.”  
 

“Has anyone seen Merlin?” said Lancelot, playing with the flowers from his buttonhole.  
 

Everyone feel silent and looked around and hall. Merlin was nowhere in sight.  
 

Then suddenly Morgana burst into laughter. “Oh!” she said. “Oh, no! No, he wouldn’t!”  
 

“What?” said Gwen.  
 

“What?” growled Uther.  
 

“What?” sobbed Maureen.  
 

“What?” said Sophia. “What is it?”  
 

“I – well,” Morgana choked out through her laughter. “I think Arthur’s run off with Merlin.”  
 

“Merlin,” said Sophia. “Merlin, his best friend who’s been in love with him for years?” Morgana nodded.  
 

“Yes,” she said. “I told him what I thought of you, and I told him Merlin was in love with him, then I sent him off to talk to – oh, this is _wonderful!_ I never thought he’d actually –” She sank down into the nearest chair.  
 

“Oh! Oh, no,” said Sophia, her tone becoming more and more hysterical. “My husband’s a gay man!” She covered her mouth with her hands and sobbed.  
 

“Oh, no!” said Gwen, patting her on the shoulder. “Don’t say that. I’m sure he’s not gay. Just… bicurious?”  
 

But that only made Sophia sob harder.  
 

“And he’s not your husband yet,” said Hunith, beaming. “Oh, lucky Merlin!”  
 

“Lucky Merlin?” said Uther. “ _Lucky Merlin?_ My son just eloped with another man!”  
 

“Should we call him?” said Lancelot. “He’ll have his mobile with him, won’t he? We shouldn’t assume – I mean, it might not be what it looks like.”  
 

“Right,” said Morgana, calming down. “Yes, we should do that.” She slid her phone out of her handbag and dialled Arthur’s number quickly. Everyone fell silent again.  
 

“Hello?” she said after a moment. “Merlin? Is that you? Where _are_ you?” She listened, then covered the mouthpiece. “They’re in a car, on a road. He doesn’t know where. Merlin, what on earth is – oh,” she said, covered the mouthpiece again and turning to Sophia. “Arthur wants to talk to you.”  
 

Sophia practically dived for the phone. “Arthur?” she said. “Baby? What’s all this about, baby?” A pause. “What do you mean, ‘over’?” She sobbed again. “Morgana says you and Merlin – what? Well, the money isn’t… well, it’s hardly going to be a turn-off, is it? – No, I don’t think – we’re supposed to be getting married! Arthur? Arthur?” She held the phone to her ear for a moment longer, eyes wide, that flung it across the room and _screamed_.  
 

“Careful!” said Morgana. “That’s my phone!”  
 

“I don’t _care!_ ” said Sophia. “My husband is _gay!_ ”  
 

“He’s not your husband yet,” said Uther. “Thank God.”  
 

“I thought you didn’t approve?” said Hunith.  
 

“Oh, I don’t approve of Arthur being with another man,” said Uther. “But it’s better than marrying _her_.” He gestured at Sophia, who was now sobbing again, Gwen’s arm around her shoulders.  
 

“Maybe we could just move onto the reception?” said Maureen.  
 

“That sounds like a good idea,” said Lancelot. “It’d certainly cheer everyone up.”  
 

“It does seem like a pity to waste all that food,” said Aulfric.  
 

“That’s settled, then,” said Uther, striding towards the door. “I don’t know about you, but I’m _hungry_.”  
 

“But – the wedding!” said Sophia as they filed out the doors. “I’m supposed to be getting married! Come back?”  
 

“Maybe he’ll change his mind?” said Gwen, sounding decidedly uncertain.  
 

“Oh, leave it, Gwen,” said Lancelot.  
 

_*_  
  
  


One car journey, a trip through the channel tunnel, a hotel room and a lot of really rather amazing sex later, Arthur and Merlin were sprawled across a bed in Paris together, Arthur playing with Merlin’s hair and Merlin letting out occasional sighs of contentment.  
 

“Mmm,” he said after a while. “That was really, really good.”  
 

“I know,” said Arthur. “I’m just awesome like that.”  
 

“I’d call you a prat,” said Merlin. “But for once you’re right.” He stretched up against him. “God, I’ve wanted that for so long. Dreamed about it.”  
 

“Really?” said Arthur. “How did dream-me compare to real-me?”  
 

“Oh, no contest,” said Merlin. “You’re not a patch on him.”Arthur pulled his hair gently. Merlin let out a delighted, bubbling laugh. “I still can’t believe this is really happening.”  
 

“Me neither,” said Arthur. They both fell silent.  
 

“You’re not,” said Merlin. “You’re not going to change your mind about this, are you? Because if you think you might, can you just tell me now? I’d rather not be surprised later if you do. Change your mind, I mean.”  
 

“I’m not going to change my mind,” said Arthur. “Don’t worry. You’re my best friend and you’re in love with me and I think maybe I love you too, and the sex was really amazing. Really, really amazing.”  
 

“Really?” said Merlin, peering up at him. “You really mean that?”  
 

“You give _way_ better head than Sophia,” said Arthur.  
 

“You’re not going to keep comparing me to her,” said Merlin. “Are you?”  
 

Arthur laughed, “Don’t worry,” he said. “I’ve already stopped. Now, get up here,” he tugged Merlin up to the pillows and kissed him gently. “Mmm,” he moaned, pressing kisses down his neck. “I think we should get crepes tomorrow. That sound good?”  
 

And then they all lived happily ever after.  
 

(Except Sophia. She didn’t.)


End file.
